And end.I really love to see more MariNito stuff.

I would love too see more MariNito too! If anybody could translate this, I would gladly edit it

awesome, looks like the work of the circle that did acting on instinct

[Yudokuya] NitoMari Woosh!?

>>39159
Well, looks like I'll get started on this!

Hello? DarkCloud?

>>40051

He's dead Jim

This is going back to the queue. Anyone who wants to work on this, say so.

Sign me up.

Leveling test.

Working bump. I'll post all progress pics when it's done.

There we go.

That's it for today. I'll add the missing pages tomorrow.

Preface inbound.

>>40651
can do it by myself!

>I can do it by myself!

>>40652
I'm used to seeing "Hakkerou" as "Hakkero." It's your choice though.

>>40687
Website and email info is missing, it's there in the raw.

Thanks for the edit, this doujin turned out to be more entertaining than I thought it'd be.

>>40668

>Continued to "Touhou 12 Subterranean Animism"!

"To" should be changed to "in". Also, SA is Touhou 11, not 12.

Sorry that it took too long.

Here are the fixed pages. Zip will be provided if everything's clear.

Well since there are no objections or any corrections to amend, have a link to the finished work.

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/3264098/Yudokuya_-_NitoMari_Woosh.rar

A few odd spots.

>>40650
First panel, "village folks" has something underneath still from the original text.

>>40652
There's an odd hanging period in the first bubble, second panel. Please rearrange the text somehow.

>>40661
Untranslated text in the last panel. Intentional?

>>40662
I know radial lines are a pain, but try to redraw them. Also, I would stroke that text in the 2nd and 3rd panel.

>>40663
Okay, I think I know what that untranslated text is now, but either try to replace to the original text or indicate somehow that's what the japanese means.

Also, center the text in the first bubble, last panel.

Overall, could use better cleaning up by completely erasing the original text and little bit of white leveling on all the pages. Also, adjust text sizes as necessary. Too much text is not centered or fitting in the bubbles.

Tip: If the pages is colored (cover pages usually), save in jpg. For monochrome, save in png. That's not required, but it does help to lower the overall file size.

And despite these reviews, these are good to go for Sunday:
>>40494
>>37305
>>41188

>First panel, "village folks" has something underneath still from the original text.

Okay.

>There's an odd hanging period in the first bubble, second panel. Please rearrange the text somehow.

Got it.

>Untranslated text in the last panel. Intentional?

Intentional.

>I know radial lines are a pain, but try to redraw them. Also, I would stroke that text in the 2nd and 3rd panel.

Dammit.

>Okay, I think I know what that untranslated text is now, but either try to replace to the original text or indicate somehow that's what the japanese means.

OK.

Sorry for the huge delay. Been busy with other stuff.
Anyways, here's the corrections + some other pages that I had ran a check with.

Well that's it for now.

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/3264098/Yudokuya_-_NitoMari_Woosh.rar

My computer took a bit of a downhill ride, so here it is.

Page 8, panel 4:

>"Well, then let me tweak your Hakkero and boost up its powers."

Consider removing "up" and dropping the "s" from "powers".

Page 11, panel 3:

>"How about us teaming up for now and messing up their relationship?"

This would probably sound better as:
"How about you and I team up for now and mess up their relationship?"
(If you think that's a bit too wordy, you can change "you and I" to "we". Or if you think it's not verbose enough for Patchouli, you may change "now" to "for the moment". If anyone has any better suggestions, feel free to chime in.)

Page 18, panel 2:

>"Kappa's technologies are the best in whole Gensokyo."

This should be changed to:
"Kappa technology is the greatest in all of Gensokyo."

Page 21:

>"(She hinted the existence of hot springs.)

Consider adding in "at" after "hinted".

Credits page:
You should update the link to the wiki with its new address (http://touhouwiki.net/wiki/Touhou_Wiki)

That's about all I could find. Good job, ZEROGRAVITY.

Got it. Stand by for fixing.

http://dl.dropbox.com/u/3264098/Yudokuya_-_NitoMari_Woosh.rar

Here you go.

Note: Since I used Dropbox, the url will be the same, but the content differs every time I post the links.

Page 18, panel 2:
Nitori's "Kappa's technologies..." line still sounds a bit awkward to me, but it's better than it was before. My suggestion for this line (from >>41676) still stands, though it could probably pass as it is now. (I'd appreciate it, though, if someone gave a second opinion on this.)

Credits page:
You misspelled your name.

I think that's it. For real, this time. Good job.

>>41857

>Nitori's "Kappa's technologies..." line still sounds a bit awkward to me, but it's better than it was before. My suggestion for this line (from >>41676) still stands, though it could probably pass as it is now. (I'd appreciate it, though, if someone gave a second opinion on this.)

How about we replace technologies with inventions instead? Does it sound any better?

>You misspelled your name.

Cripes. That was embarrassing. Fixed.

>>41858
Yeah, I think "inventions" might work, as long as you also change "Kappa's" to just "Kappa".

>>41867
http://dl.dropbox.com/u/3264098/Yudokuya_-_NitoMari_Woosh.rar

Here it is.

Archived:
http://www.touhouwiki.net/wiki/Yudokuya#NitoMari_Woosh_(2008-11-02)

Good job, team.