Good job! Now for the fixes:
You need to level the pages. Black 25 will give a desired effect.
Please save the pages as .png to prevent jpeg artifacts and to reduce file size. If you're using Photoshop then the setting is explained in >>40947
Page 10, panel 1
>What happened to the oriental gate guard!?
"What happened to the Chinese gate guard!?"
Also please make the words on the same line as much as you could. Example:
>And what fate awaits our report-
>ers!?
You can mess around and make "reporters!?" fit the width of the bubble, e.g. reducing font size by 1, etc.
Page 7, panel 5
>Oh my, run out of material?
"Oh my, ran out of material?" (Past tense is correct.)
Page 32, panel 3
>Ne~, onee-sama~
"Hey, sister..."
Changing onee-sama to English here still keep the feeling and meaning. Also necessary for translation in the next pages (explain below).
Page 34, panel 4
>Why not just tell it to her straight...?
"Why not just tell it to her straight on...?
>It's impossible Patchy, my big sis is rather shy.
"It's impossible, Patchy. Sister is rather shy."
Flandre refer to Remilia as a third person ("sister") consistently, I also remove the possessive pronoun "my" to reflect her style of speech.
That's it, thanks a lot for editing this :)
