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File: 1419499432633.jpg -(1845042 B, 1408x2000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
1845042 No.58752  

And here is my Christmas gift to you.

https://www.mediafire.com/?290901259kd1tf2

>> No.58753  
File: 1419499725335.txt.unknown -(27246 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Here the script please qc and edit.

Now all the volume are finish, around 3 1/2 month)

link to other volume for easy finding.
Naganakidori - first part
http://voile.gensokyo.org/res/55950.html

Naganakidori - later part
http://voile.gensokyo.org/res/55951.html

MOON RIVER - Naganakidori Bouhen 1
http://voile.gensokyo.org/res/58280.html

>> No.60487  

As the first volume already edited. So I bump for QC.

And if everything going as plan, you can look forward to QC another DELI-TRE doujin (hint another historic) soon.

>> No.60494  

finally I have more time now, so I will start editing this. Thanks to the translators for their hard work!

>> No.60511  
File: 1491113373157.txt.unknown -(28784 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Okay, I somehow managed to get through this. It could use some review, though. Especially the afterword.

>> No.60516  

Sorry doing translation on Yamame doujin so it's a bit late. What I found.

p3
[1]

  •    : a beautiful celestial suddenly appeared.

Kaguya is not a celestial, 絶世の美人 mean "woman of unmatched beauty",
"celestial beauty" is a very beautiful woman as if she is a goddess or heavenly maidens.

[5]
*Fuhito : I don't care about the woman. What I want

  •    : is her relation to the moon.

Correction : he don't specific so it's woman in general, so it should be like
Fuhito : I don't care about woman. What I want

: is the relation/connection with the moon.

p6
[3]
Keine : Don't tell me...... My fabrication of that branch failed

    : and Princess Kaguya saw through it? That's...

It's more like "Don't tell me...... My fabrication of that branch failed or maybe Princess Kaguya saw through it? That's...

p9
[1]

  •    : Earth is a game board of life, meant to kill time.

Just note : Original use "life game" (Katakana next to Kanji)

p15
[1]

  •    : And I don't think she was ever a blood relative to begin with. She's a daughter born from a lousy, lowly maidservant. How convenient.

Isn' it : I don't think she was even
/ it's convenient because in this doujin Mokou's mother is not noble, having daughter who do nothing positive (and may do negative instead) to his status like marry off to other noble for politic, so he want to hid or get rid of Mokou anyway, now he can kill 2 bird with 1 stone.

p19
[3+4]
Keine : Ah......

  •    : whether it's due to your appearance, or if it's because of the immortality elixir the Lunarians brought, you have been living alone all this time. 

correction : it's more like
Is it because you had to live alone all this time with such appearance? or because of the immortality elixir the Lunarians brought?

p32
[1]

  •    : allowing the Heishi and Genji to gain power, even as it continued to decline.   

Is "even" necessary here?, as Fujiwara clan lose power, other come to replace it, it's natural cause effect not that Fujiwara clan oversight or something.

p41
[4]
*Keine : Is there some power that moves this place, {ha*2}

  •    : so that anyone in a place like this...

correction it's more like
Keine : It's a places where some sort of power is at work <refer to bamboo forest of the lost>

: but for that person to be in a place like this...		<refer to Mokou>

p53
[1]

  •    : so very much...

Is that correct? ( I know "thank you" is too short)

>> No.60519  
File: 1491358222967.txt.unknown -(28535 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Pg. 3.1
Changed to, "a woman of celestial beauty"

Pg. 3.5
Changed to, "Women don't concern me. What I want is her connection to the moon." It's a little different, but it should get the point across.

Pg. 6.3
Keine: Don't tell me.... My fabrication of that branch failed?
Or did Princess Kaguya see through it? That's...

Pg. 9.1
Fuhito: Earth is the board for a life game, meant to kill time.

Pg. 19.3+4
Keine: Is it because you had to live alone all this time with that appearance? Or is it because of the immortality elixir the Lunarians brought?
[I also changed the next box to, "But it's as if..." to help them flow together.]

Pg. 32.1
Removed the comma and the word "even."

Pg. 41.4
Keine: There is some power that moves this place,
but for that person to be somewhere like this...

Pg. 53.1
Yes, it's correct like that.

>> No.60548  

Thanks, your work is greatly appreciated.
Was a bit slow, about half way through now...



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