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File: 1491452870797.jpg -(1070950 B, 1409x2000) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.
1070950 No.60522  

It's took a while to translated.
https://www.mediafire.com/?npda5oqlu93p21z

>> No.60523  
File: 1491452969640.txt.unknown -(19925 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Here the script, please Qc and edit.
I planed to do this book long ago, it's indeed long as I thought.

>> No.60543  

Would it be alright for me to edit your script a bit so that it flows better?

>> No.60544  

>>60543
Go ahead as long as meaning don't change it's fine, we can help recheck again after you QC.

>> No.60545  
File: 1492699103914.txt.unknown -(22144 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

I edited it quite a lot to try and make it feel like the dialogues were realistic, hopefully I didn't go overboard. I'd like to request that the afterword has a translation check, I am pretty unsure of it.

>> No.60547  

What I found :
p11
[3]
Reimu : Even so, I’ve had an unpleasant feeling for a bit...

Source さっきから = since some time ago
Maybe it's imply that Reimu already infected, so I think "for a bit" part is strange

p13
[4]
Yamame : Two isn’t fair.

    : How inconvenient...  <-this part

Source 都合も悪いし
も = also
So it's two reason. I think She just talk with Marisa about the plan, so both need time for prepare/planing.

p14
[1]
Marisa : I think...

    : she'll be back in the near future, you know?

[4]
Marisa : I'll come again later,

    : that what she told you...

Source 明日 = tomorrow
So later or near future is wrong. They already set the date

p15
[4]
Reimu : Yes...but she said she will return.

Keine : Eh?

    : What do you mean? What is she returning for?

Source また今日の夜に来るって言ってた
今日の夜 = tonight
って言ってた = [he/she/it] said.

So the time is specific and for Keine part it's imply that she surprise because the youkai who should run from miko set the time to meet herself. Not surprise because returing.

p15
[4]
Reimu : She seems to want a time of more convenience. It’s fine, we can prepare for trouble and anticipate her.

[5]
Keine : A time that is more convenient...?

on [4] The first half should cut out because 1. the conversatino imply that Reimu already told what Yamame said (include inconvinience part) to Keine. 2. It will be too long for speech bubble when edit.
on [5] As Keine already know what Yamame said. So she ponder "that time is inconvinience" + "tonight" = "that time (tonight) is more convenient?"

p16
[2]
Keine : She’s that powerful?

May should change to "become that powerful?" as it's know that noramlly Yamame can't beat Reimu (she is stage 1 boss).

p16
[4]
Reimu : My only thought is that she’s waiting... {rustle..}

[5]
Reimu : for the sun to set...

Source :
まあ 待ってやろうじゃない...
日が沈むのをね...

This is more like she don't thought what Yamame plan, just state the fact.

p18
[3]
Yamame : It’s a bit painful to use, {snap!}

Source 被害が出ちゃったけと

This is more like it's causing damage (killed lots of infect peoples).

p25
[1]
Reimu : For this to spread through the village...

source : ばら撒かれた = got spread

It's imply that it's intentionally spread there.

p38
[2]
Marisa : If I wasn’t always saving you, you’d probably die, you know?

source 私がいなかったら死んでたかもだぜ? = If it weren't there, you probably die, you know?
So no always part, I think most commonly thought it's more like reverse (Reimu save Marisa)

p45
[3]
Yamame : So I’ll explain the situation, and get help escaping from the surface human. But I never thought I would be shrouded by that much power.

She already did so it's not "I'll"

>> No.60552  
File: 1493011653992.txt.unknown -(20526 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Okay, so, I QC'd this around the same time as Echo did and thought I'd posted my edits, but apparently I didn't. Here's my version of the QC.

>> No.60553  

>>60552
p11
[3]
*Reimu : Even so, something feels off...

Source さっきから = since some time ago
Maybe it's imply that Reimu already infected.

p13
[4]
*Yamame : There's two of you,

  •    : which is inconvenient.

Source 都合も悪いし
も = also
Again I think it's two reason.

p14
[4]
*Marisa : “I'll come again tomorrow,”

  •    : that's what she said to tell you...

May be this is more correct than my translation. Can some one help check?

p26
[1]
Yamame : Fantasy Nature-...

  •    : At this stage, using the Hakurei shrine maiden's strongest spell that will activate if if she hits me seven times....

Two "if"

>> No.60558  
File: 1493269369349.txt.unknown -(20545 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Pg. 11.3
Reimu: Even so, something's felt off for a while now...

Pg. 14.4
Yamame: which is also inconvenient.

Pg. 26.1
[Removed the second "if"]

>> No.60560  
File: 1493313911673.txt.unknown -(20519 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Pg 7,2
Even if she is not the culprit, [...]
Pg 16,1
Reimu : it's an alternative to sending me a written challenge...
Pg 43,1
*Yamame : Yeah...maybe it's because the boundary between us and the surface grew weaker...

  •    : so it became easier for the disease to spread above ground from the Underworld.

Pg 43,2
*Yamame : Even so, the humans burn every corpse, so it is a lot of trouble.
Pg 43,3
*Yamame : The "Earth Perishing Disease" is meant literally. It's a disease that "perishes" in the "earth".
Pg 45,2
*Yamame : That's why this time, the reality which is that I'm the "culprit" who scattered earth perish disease,

    : got exterminated and it's all settled, is necessary. It's to prevent the start of false suspicion toward the underworld in general...

Pg 45,3
{Marisa : Give me }
{ : some delicious sake <note>}

Yamame : So I explained the situation, and got help for escaping from the above ground human. But I never thought I would be shrouded by that much power.
Pg 46,1
Parsee : What should I say, you're such a good natured person... as if you are an idiot. < as if you are an idiot is small letter>

Yamame : Ha ha ha that human also said something like that.
Pg 46,3
Yamame : Oh! These words {up we go}

    : sound like the underworld's idol, isn't it?

I haven't enough time to work on the afterword but here is QC for the story.

>> No.60566  
File: 1493397093185.txt.unknown -(20598 B, 0x0) Thumbnail displayed, click image for full size.

Okay, somewhat embarrassing, but the QC was incomplete. I had to redo everything from about pg. 43 onward.



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